The suffering of Sam – Sam Roddick

Every now and again – but rarer than you think – you do an interview that blows you away. These are interviews you enter as one person and exit as someone different – enlightened, inspired, with more understanding of the world and how it works - or, in this case, how it should work.

The kind of interviewee that says something interesting not just some of the time - but all of it. And who you can't stop quoting to people, who, in turn, find the snippets so fascinating, they request all five typed pages of interview notes. Of course, these interviews are also the biggest challenge for a journalist because how do you convey all that inspiration, that enlightenment in 1,000 words? You can but try.

The interviewee I'm referring to is Sam Roddick. Yes, shocking - and then perhaps not so much either. The youngest daughter of Dame Anita Roddick, founder of The Body Shop, she would automatically be escalated into the 'interesting' category had she not already gained a reputation as a bit of misfit.

Sam was expelled from school at 15 (later discovering she was dyslexic), travelled the world until she had a breakdown at age 21, 'lost the plot' shunning the capitalist world and living out of skips in Vancouver until age 27 when she fell pregnant and finally returned home.

"It's going to take a lot for something to break me as a person again because I've got so much knowledge and happiness now."

Three years later, in 2001, she opened her own ethical sex emporium, Coco de Mer, named after a palm nut whose shape resembles the intimate female form. Even her mother was said to be uneasy about her daughter's venture, once commenting that the popular sex culture made it 'virtually impossible for young women to grow up with high self-esteem'.

But, as I learn, Coco de Mer is much more than a sex shop. It is the sum of Sam Roddick's journey of self-discovery over the past 20 years, the Emerald City at the end of her yellow brick road.

I'm surprised by Roddick when I first meet her. I've read in previous interviews that, for years, she struggled with body image issues, yet she comes across as very confident face-to-face. "Well, that's after a lot of work," she says flatly, "a long, painful haul."

Hers was 'a typical feminine story'. "I had sex too young and that was not really a happy place. It was a more pressured situation, where I didn't really feel like I had that much choice… but I did. And suddenly I went from being a confident, sexy young girl to a shattered one. I became broken through that one experience. But it definitely put me on a path that's given me a lot of information. And, to be honest, it's going to take a lot for something to break me now as a person because I've got so much knowledge and happiness in that way, it's become a tool to help other people."

She says that her sex shop, which sells everything from underwear to lotions; bondage gear to kinky books - all beautifully, expertly and expensively created – is as much a place of sexual healing these days as it is a fun playground. It's somewhere people come with their stories and problems, for which she has the capacity to guide them. "Because I've done it myself, right? Coco de Mer is a pocket of paradise that came from the depths of hell. Which is why people feel so comfortable when they come in. My shop isn't about making people feel aware of their sexuality, it's about allowing them to explore it, and that takes safety, communication and comfort."

If all this sounds deep, it's because Sam Roddick is – just not in a preachy way. She's clearly a woman who has done her soul searching. But alongside all that, she's also brilliant, often shocking company. She swears like a trooper (I count the 'f' word 50 times throughout our interview), doesn't take herself too seriously, sometimes laughs so hard she snorts, is feisty and unafraid of telling things how they are, and nothing is off limits. You ask and she answers with grit on the important issues, including ethical trading, working with women, good sex and being a dedicated protestor*.

That Roddick has ended up in the retail sector still astounds her. She was brought up by parents absorbed in retail and she hated it, thought it was 'slog's work'. "I lived and breathed within the very loins of the Body Shop growing up, falling asleep on the straw for baskets when I was little, working there every summer. I used to have to crawl past the window on Saturdays so they wouldn't grab me to work."

So when she opened Coco de Mer, she couldn't believe it. "I thought 'I've got a shop, how did that happen?' I'd been so obsessed in the idea that I didn't actually compute it was going to be a shop."

Into activism, ethics, and retail, Roddick is very much her mother's daughter. I wonder now, after a second Christmas without Anita, who died of a brain aneurism in September 2007, how she feels.

"My mum was like a hurricane, she was double time, triple time, so in a way her death was poetry to me, because it wasn't lingering. She came and disappeared as big as she was."

"I used to say when I was little 'My mum isn't going to die, she's going to spontaneously combust!' and, in a way, that's exactly what happened. My mum was like a hurricane, she was double time, triple time, so in a way her death was poetry to me, because it wasn't lingering. She came and disappeared as big as she was. I would have hated to see her deteriorate in health. That would have broken my heart."

Even in death though, her mother's influence is still felt. Take Albert Woodfox of the Angola 3, a black prisoner held in solitary confinement in a Louisiana prison for 36 years. Her mother used to visit Woodfox, and when she died, friends flocked to Sam's father, Gordon, asking what they could do to help. He told them 'Get Alfred Woodfox out of solitary'. Within a year, Woodfox was moved.

"And I think if there is a God and a Jesus Christ, my mum's up in heaven kicking their lazy arses. She's saying 'Hey boys, what are you doing?! We've got work to do, let's get some social justice here!' And it takes a woman to kick their lazy arses."

Now, with a second Coco de Mer shop opened in London, a roaring online trade and the busiest time of the year upon them ("Valentine's Day is like Christmas for us"), it's all going right for businesswoman Sam Roddick.

She just wishes she'd had a crystal ball to foresee this moment four years ago. Back then, she was working around the clock, creating her extensive range of seasonal products, as well as learning how to manage a business.

"I worked non-stop, cried non-stop and wasted a lot of emotional energy getting here. If I could change anything now, I would take out all of my emotion and dump it. Because your fear and anxiety and emotions are such a waste of energy in business, they should be reserved for your family and loved ones."

If it's been a painful and difficult few years for Roddick, it's nonetheless the sum of her experiences that has made her who she is today – an interesting and inspiring individual. And, for that, we should all be grateful.

Visit Coco de Mer at 23 Monmouth Street in Covent Garden, 108 Draycott Avenue in South Kensington or redeem this excluisve discount online at www.coco-de-mer.com

*Sam on what matters

Ethical trade
"The most radical form of ethics is keeping your economics at home. We have got to bring production back to this country because, without that, we have no sustainability. Most of the products in my shop are made in London by craftsmen. It's keeping our carbon footprint down to a minimum and investing in our tradesmen, our talent."

Working with women
"I think women have taken the back seat too long, we need to start saying 'Actually, I'm not fitting into this'. Women need to design their time and if people don't want to employ us, then we'll start our own companies. That's what I've done. I only work with women, I won't work with men. I will serve them in my shop and I'm happy to have them as lovers, but I'm not really willing to share my empire with them because they're lazier than women. We can do things in double the time they can. But if we're forced into the same hour-driven system, we need to say 'Give us a bit of space for our children to exist'."

Good sex
"People who are sexually comfortable but emotionally very limited can only explore their sexuality so far. You also have to be able to receive love. Everyone is a genius at giving sex but there are not many geniuses at receiving it. That comes down to control."

Protesting for democracy
"The only thing that keeps democracy in existence is protest. I'm a dedicated protester. Without protest, you are in a dictatorship. We're living in a fear-driven society and it's a threat against our freedom of speech and our right to protest. So it's very important for people to understand that the results of a protest aren't as necessary as the protest itself to raise awareness that we are participating in a democratic system."

By Barbara Walshe